We watched from the upstairs neighbor’s apartment as the police arrived and rushed our mother away. We never saw her again. One moment, we were innocent children happily playing out back, the next we stood over our mom as her life slowly ebbed. Afterward, we were not allowed back into our flat. It was once a safe and familiar place to us, our home, now transformed into a crime scene. Our grandparents picked us up and moved my dad, Laura, and me into their home, a familiar, supportive environment, all three of us, together. The next few years we spent surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. As a result, we were given a chance that many kids with less support do not have.
What if we didn’t have that familial community to help us pick up the pieces? Where would we have gone? What would have happened to us? Would we have been separated?
Coyote Hill Foster Care Services is one of those places we may have gone. The Love Sisters Project supports Coyote Hill’s mission by funding sensory kits, tools to aid foster parents in helping newly arriving children cope with their trauma and self regulate their behavior as they adjust to new surroundings. The kits include a sound machine, a liquid bubble timer, a stress ball and jelly string noodle, weighted blanket, and lotion. They are not only provided to foster parents within Coyote Hill, but also as part of their mission to support the foster care community as a whole.
Brenda and I had the recent opportunity to tour the Coyote Hill facilities. It is an expansive rural property containing multiple 5,000 square foot homes and one large duplex, each with play equipment and basketball courts. They have a lake to swim in during the summer and horses to ride. The property also has a separate resource center with computers for the kids to use to complete their homework assignments. Every kid gets a bike, the first for many of them. The surrounding forests serve as a serene setting.
The discussion with our guide Kari left a greater impression than the physical surroundings. She possessed a quiet confidence in their mission and sober understanding of the damage caused children who are victims of child abuse and neglect. Large, well equipped homes are backdrops to what Coyote Hill really provides kids, stability. Siblings arrive as a sibling group, the only hint of familiarity to an otherwise foreign world. Kari was clearly dedicated to the mission of Coyote Hill and weaved anecdotal stories about kids who came through the home (without revealing names of course). The story that struck me the most was about an older boy, now a young man, who’d left Coyote Hill, but brought his girlfriend back to show her his childhood home, a place where he spent maybe a year or two. To him, it was the only stable place he’d ever lived.
Coyote Hill’s mission as a foster home is not easy. Each kid interprets the experiences from their chaotic life differently and exhibits different behaviors. It is most likely the first place a child lives that has structure, routine, consistency, and reasonable expectations. The challenges it presents the foster parents cannot be understated. But, Coyote Hill gives those children what they really need, a chance to succeed.
Comments